Abortion and the media

I remember when I first heard the song "Brick" by Ben Folds. I listened to it three times straight before I understood it was about abortion. Then my heart broke, and I started crying.

Ben Folds said of the song, "People ask me what this song's about... I was asked about it a lot, and I didn't really wanna make a big hairy deal out of it, because I just wanted the song to speak for itself. But the song is about when I was in high school, me and my girlfriend had to get an abortion, and it was a very sad thing. And, I didn't really want to write this song from any kind of political standpoint, or make a statement. I just wanted to reflect what it feels like. So, anyone who's gone through that before, then you'll know what the song's about."

This song is a terribly strong testament to Post-Abortive Stress Syndrome. Or at least, that's how I interpret it. In the song, Ben acknowledges the humanity of the child, "Can't you see / It's not me you're dying for" and he feels "numb" to the whole thing. Trying to be a good boyfriend, he sells his Christmas presents to pay for the procedure and buy her flowers- but he already feels doom in terms of the relationship. "Now that I have found someone / I'm feeling more alone / Than I ever have before / She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly / Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere"

The song goes on to say that his girlfriend suffered afterwards-
"As weeks went by / It showed that she was not fine / They told me, "son, it's time to tell the truth" / She broke down, and I broke down"

And ultimately, the abortion is what ruined the relationship- "Driving back to her apartment / For the moment we're alone / And she's alone / And I'm alone / And now I know it"

This song is in and of itself a heartbreak. From the women and men who have spoken through Project Rachel and Silent No More, we know that abortion burns a hole through you and wears you out emotionally. And we are finding out more and more about men who regret their partner's abortions. Oftentimes they think they're being a good boyfriend by paying for it, or by driving her there.

In addition to "Brick," by Ben Folds, we have songs like "Abortion" by Kid Rock, in which a post-abortive father conemplates suicide, and "Red Ragtop," by Tim McGraw, expressing the pain and regret that a man goes through after abortion. "Happy Birthday," by rapper Flipsyde is an apology to his unborn child. In the popular song, "The Freshmen," a girl kills herself post-abortion because of the regret. Bif Naked's song "Chotee" is a song in which the singer apologizes to her unborn child, expressing sincere regret.

In the popular [and fairly counter-cultural] book "The Perks of Being a Wallflower,"
Charlie goes with his sister to a clinic so she can abort the child that her abusive boyfriend fathered. Despite knowing this, Charlie thought about the time his sister explained where babies come from and - keeping his promise to only cry for something important- breaks down for the sake of the child.

Then you have movies like "Knocked Up," "Juno," and "Waitress," films dealing with unexpected pregnancies and the choice to let live prevails. Juno's clinic scene is quite possible one of the best pro-life statements filmmaking has ever seen, even though it was unintentional and both actress Ellen Page and screenwriter Diablo Cody are staunchly pro-choice.

The movie "Bella" also deals with abortion, but speaks to something I learned while at a sidewalk counseling seminar. Post-abortive Missy Smith, one of the speakers and founder of WAKE UP [ Women Against Killing and Exploitation of Unprotected Persons ] said that much like suicidal people, abortion-minded women are just waiting for someone to reach out to them and tell them no. They say someone who wants to take their life sends off signals, because they want someone to stop them. In the same way, 80% of women wouldn't have had their abortion if they had a friend to offer them support, offer an alternative. She said, "There is money and organizations [to assist in crisis pregnancies,] but what they really need is a friend."


As left-leaning as we'd like to call the media, there are popular movies and songs and books that speak to the pain of abortion and/or the humanity of the pro-born child. They are opportunities to open dialogue with other people about the issue. And that can turn into something wonderful.